


We're Sleeping At The Wheel

by DestielSterekKazerBennguin (orphan_account)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/DestielSterekKazerBennguin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. Stiles is a Sophomore and Derek is a Senior. Derek is a baseball player and Stiles is in love with him. Sterek ensues.</p><p>In a perfect world where Mama Stilinski and Derek's family are still alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I remember the first time I accidentally let my bisexuality slip. I was in 8th grade, sitting with Scott at the lunch table, when I made a nonchalant comment about how awesome Neil Patrick Harris’s abs were.

“I never noticed, I guess,” Scott had said. “Wait, Stiles, why are you looking at his abs in the first place?” I played it off like I was just jealous because I wanted abs, but I realized that day that not every guy had _those_ kinds of thoughts about other guys.

The reason why I drag Scott with me to all of the baseball games is because, well, who doesn’t like guys in tight baseball pants? Well, mostly Derek Hale in tight baseball pants. Derek is the epitome of tall, dark and handsome. He has dark, nearly black hair, green eyes and the perfect amount of muscle. He’s not _too_ huge, but playing baseball since his childhood had made him lean and perfectly sculpted.

Of course, I never expected to have a class with him. This was _not_ supposed to happen. I’m a sophomore and he’s a senior so there is no reason I should have a class with him, even if I am taking some AP classes that are usually for seniors. Okay so maybe having the class with him wasn’t that bad, it’s the fact that he is sitting in the desk right next to me. I’m not the most subtle person on the planet. Actually I’m probably the least subtle being in the universe. It was only sixth hour of the first day of school and I already couldn’t keep my eyes off of the perfection next to me.

“Okay, class,” My AP Lit teacher, Ms. Leake, started as the late bell rang. “You were supposed to write an essay this summer that is due today, so if you would, please pass those in right now.” The sound of papers shuffling filled the classroom as the papers were passed forward. I glanced to my left and my eyes locked with Derek’s. I froze, eyes widening, and I felt my face become hot. Of course he was going to look at me. I was the only sophomore in a class of seniors. I was the freak. He smirked at me and turned away and I felt myself relax.

The worst part about sitting in the middle of the classroom is that, well, you’re in the middle. You could get easily distracted by the people in front of you, but at the same time the people behind you can see everything you do. With that thought in mind, I managed to keep my eyes completely off of Derek for the rest of the thirty minute class period. It may have been obvious to some people, especially Ms. Leake who gives me an odd look every time I jerk my head away from Derek.

It’s a blessing when the bell rings. I have the next class with Scott, which means other people my age. I’m suddenly wishing I hadn’t taken so many AP classes. I stay seated while everyone files out of the classroom. I hate being in crowds by myself. I’m not claustrophobic, but I don’t like the feeling of having to shove your way through a group of people…especially if said people are seniors.

Apparently Derek had the same idea because we were the only two still sitting when most of the people were out. I stood up, picking up my books, suddenly anxious to get out of the classroom as fast as I could. I was about halfway to the door when I heard of voice.

“Stiles,” It was Derek. Derek Hale knows my name. Derek Hale just _said_ my name. I whirled around, eyes wide, and looked at him. He was only a few steps away from me but I had to look up to meet his eyes.

“Um, yes?” I answered. I was still in shock that he was speaking to me.

“You playing baseball this year?” He asked me. I laughed, shaking my head.

“I haven’t played baseball in two years. Even when I did play I sucked.”

“I’ve seen you play. You’re pretty good. Even if you haven’t played in years you can always relearn.” I reach up and scratch the back of my neck, looking at the ground.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Think about it.” My eyes shot up to his face then back down to my feet. I nod and watch as his feet walk away. I sigh in relief and follow him out the door. Scott’s there waiting for me, and really, I don’t give the guy enough credit. He knows me better than anyone, so I should have known he would figure it out.

“How difficult was hiding your big gay crush last hour?” Scott asks me. I squeak and flail around, and stare at him.  
“WHAT?” Scott was very nonchalant while admitting he knew about my crush.

“Dude, I’m not stupid. Every time you look at him you almost start drooling. I was going to wait for you to tell me but I get the feeling you weren’t going to.” I felt a pang in my chest at Scott’s words, and I grimaced. I wasn’t planning on telling Scott and I had planned on Scott being too wrapped up in his new girlfriend, Allison, to actually pay attention.

“Sorry, bro. I didn’t know how you would take it, and I knew nothing would ever happen between me and, well, anyone, so I didn’t really see the point.” I explained.

“What happened to Lydia?”

“Have you seen her with Jackson? They have a very self-destructive relationship but she’s in love with him. Or at least she thinks she is. That’s a lost cause.” Stiles chuckled. “Love the Way You Lie is, like, the theme song of their relationship. Except he’s not abusive, as far as I know, and they don’t cheat on each other.” Scott rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, dude. It doesn’t bother me and I can’t believe you would think it would.” They walked into their classroom and sat down in the back.

“I haven’t even told my dad yet. Like I said, nothing’s going to happen, so it doesn’t matter. Although, I would like to know if gays guys find me attractive. Maybe I’ll ask Danny.” Scott snorted, and then Allison walked in the room, effectively distracting Scott. I couldn’t help but sigh. Scott has been my only real friend since grade school. I love Allison to death, and it wasn’t her fault, but I couldn’t help but resent her a little for stealing my best friend. Maybe I wouldn’t mind so much if I had other friends, but…I really don’t. Scott’s the only one who tolerates my awkwardness enough to be my friend. Plus, if I tried to find another friend, Scott would pout and get that kicked puppy look on his face, and I would end up still being lonely.

For the rest of the class the teacher went over the Syllabus, which was the same in every class. That gave me free time to examine the pros and cons of finding a new best friend, and focus on the way Derek smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

I pulled up to my house after school that day. It was noon so I was perfectly ready for lunch. My mom’s car was in the driveway and I was hoping she would have something ready for me. Sure enough, when I walked in there was a sandwich and a bag of chips sitting on the table.

“Mom you’re the _best,_ you know that?” I heard her laugh from the kitchen and I smiled. My mom is one of the happiest people I’ve ever met. I hardly ever see her not smiling. She has long, brown hair and her eyes are hazel. She’s only barely taller than me and soon I would pass her up.

“So your birthday is in two weeks.” She said, walking into the dining room. I grinned at her with my mouth full of food. “What do you want for your birthday?” I swallowed my food.

“Derek Hale.” I said matter-of-factly. She laughed at me, shaking her head. My mom is the only one I’ve actually told that I like guys. I told her last year and she had smiled at me and told me there was nothing wrong with it. She said I could like whoever I wanted to like. I still hadn’t told anyone else because it was too personal. Maybe eventually I would.

“I don’t think I can get you Derek. You’ll have to do that on your own.” She winked at me.

“He talked to me today. Well, kind of. He asked me if I was going to play baseball.” Mom raised her eyebrow.

“How did he know you play baseball? You haven’t played in a couple years.”

“He said he’s seen me play before and that I looked pretty good.”

“Does he know you haven’t played in a while?”

“He said something about how I could relearn. I don’t know.”

“Well maybe you should. Who knows, maybe he’ll fall madly in love with you when you show him your epic baseball skills.” I tried to keep a straight face, but that was a losing battle and I laughed.

“Mom. Just no. Don’t ever say epic and skills ever again.” She put her hand over her heart, pretending to look offended.

“Why not? I’m hip!”

“You might throw _out_ your hip.” Mom raised her eyebrow and pointed her finger at me.

“Hey, watch it. I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it.”

“Oooo I’m so scared.” I retorted sarcastically. She dropped her finger and started to laugh. I picked up my sandwich and she came up behind me, hugging me.

“I love you Stiles.”

“I love you too, mom.”

 

 

The next day I made it my first five classes and lunch flawlessly. Now, though, it’s time for sixth hour, which means Derek. It wouldn’t be _that_ bad as long as I managed to not stare at him all class period. That was almost like an Olympic sport though. I mean, really, have you seen the guy?

When I got to the classroom I did not like the sight. The desks were pushed together in groups of two, facing each other, and my desk was grouped with Derek’s. Thankfully he wasn’t there yet, so I was able to slip into my seat without feeling utterly embarrassed. I pulled my notebook out of my bag and started to doodle. I didn’t look up from my notebook, not even when Derek sat down across from me. I was drawing a wolf, since it was my favorite animal, and hoping this wouldn’t get any more embarrassing. I could feel his eyes boring into me and I was trying not to fidget. It was a moment before he spoke.

“Stiles.” My stomach immediately went into knots hearing his voice. My name had never sounded so awesome before. My eyes darted to his and I blushed, looking back down to my drawing.

“Hm?” I responded. I didn’t trust myself to speak.

“Have you thought about it?” he questioned. I looked up, confused.

“Thought about what?”

“Baseball.”

“Oh, um, yeah. I…haven’t decided. I just…I haven’t played in awhile and…I don’t know how good I would be.”

“Come on, it’s like riding a bike. You never forget.”

“I remember, I just think I would be more trouble than I’m worth.” I met his eyes again and they were dark, emerald green.

“You could never be more trouble than you’re worth.” I was surprised by the passion in his eyes. This was only the second time in my life that I had talked to him and he looked _angry_ at what I had just said. I tucked that away in my mind to examine later, and it took me a minute to respond.

“Well…that doesn’t diminish the fact that I probably need a lot of work.” Derek smiled at me and I couldn’t help but notice how perfect his teeth were.

“We could start now. Baseball starts in March so we would have plenty of time to practice.” The thought of me humiliating myself in front of Derek made me cringe.

“I’ll think about it.” Derek’s smile widened and he had a satisfied glint in his eyes. Ms. Leake chose that moment to begin class.

“Ok, guys, I’m sure you’ve noticed that the desks are in groups of two. That’s because we’re starting a project today and the person sitting across from you is your partner.” Crap. “I want you to choose a topic that relates to the history of Washington D.C. I’m sure you know about the trip that we take every year during the summer to D.C, and I know it’s a little early to start studying it, but it’s better to start now. So pick a topic and clear it with me.” She starts passing out papers with the criteria for the project while I was having a mini panic attack. She handed us our papers and I immediately focused on it, glad for the distraction. Although I was wondering what the history of Washington DC had to do with literature.

“So we have to do a five page paper and a presentation of some sort.” Really I could sit in one spot all day and listen to Derek talk. There was an amused lilt to his voice that nearly made me melt in my spot. But I’m a guy so I refuse to do that. “The presentation has to be two to three minutes long. A powerpoint or poster or just anything that will get the information across.”

“What do you want to do?” I asked just to hear him talk some more. His eyes focused on me and I froze. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. I felt like he was studying me from top to bottom and when he finally glanced away I relaxed, breathing a sigh of relief.

“I don’t care. But we’re going to have to meet up to work on it at some point. It says on the paper that today and tomorrow are our only days in class to work on it.” I bit my lip and looked down at my desk.

“Um, do you want to do the Washington Monument? We could do a history on George Washington and say why it was built.” Derek smirked at me and nodded, knowing that I changed the subject on purpose.

“Sounds good to me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry the updates are so infrequent. I have writers block for a while and then something will suddenly hit me

“Today sucks, Scott!” I whined, throwing myself onto my bed. After being partnered with Derek, my next two classes assigned homework. Both of the assignments were long and difficult and made to judge how much we know. My 7th hour was Biology with Scott. I could have taken it last year and taken either Anatomy or Accelerated Chemistry this year, but I hate science. With a burning passion. Research is my forte. I can write papers and do reports, but I’m not planning on doing anything related to medicine or science so could someone please explain to me why I would need to know the structure of a plant and animal cell? I had to do a presentation on said animal cell structure in two days and my 8th hour was AP US History where we had a paper due.

“Why did today suck?” Scott sat down on my desk chair, throwing his backpack down.

“Because I got partnered with stupid Derek Hale for AP Lit, we have a biology presentation AND I have a paper due for APUSH.

“I thought being partnered with Derek would be a good thing.” Scott had this confused puppy look on his face and I sighed.

“Scott do you know me at all? You saw how I was around Lydia. I could barely speak. How do you think I’m going to act around the sex god that is Derek Hale?” Scott’s face scrunched up in disgust.

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that about Derek and-” Scott’s phone rang and he immediately pulled it out. I could tell from the dopey, love-sick look on his face that it was Allison. He answered and his face went from dopey to focused in an instant. His face flushed and he glanced at me. He asked her to hold on and looked at me. “Stiles-”

“Just go.” I told him before he could ask. Scott grinned at me and hopped up. He grabbed his bag before rushing out the door. I sighed and relaxed on my bed. There was really nothing I could do. Scott loves Allison, or at least he thinks he does. I’m not going to take that away from him just because I’m feeling a little lonely. The doorbell rang a moment later but I knew mom would get it so I just laid there. There was a knock on my bedroom door. “Come in.” I said. My mom’s face peeked around the door. She had an odd look on her face and I immediately became concerned. Dad was a police officer, after all. He could be hurt at any minute.

“There’s someone at the door for you.” I raised my eyebrow. Scott was really the only person that would be at the door, but if it were him mom would have just let him in. Not to mention he just left for Allison so he wouldn’t be back any time soon.

“Who is it?”

“Come down and see.” She was smiling oddly which made me nervous. That either meant that it was someone I hated or someone I loved. I slowly got off of my bed and walked towards the door. With my guard still up I followed her down the stairs. I got to the bottom and my jaw dropped. Derek Hale was sitting on my couch like he belonged there, like it was a _thing_.

“Hey Stiles.” He said nonchalantly. I felt the confusion on my face as I looked at him through narrow eyes.

“Hi?” There was a question there which he obviously couldn’t be bothered to answer. I waited for a few seconds before continuing. “What’s up? Why are you here?” Mom thumped me on the back of the head before walking past me to the kitchen. Maybe it did sound rude but I’ve only talked to the guy twice in my life and he knows where I live? Seems legit.

“We have a project to work on.” He smirked at me before his eyes trailed to the tv. There was a baseball game replay on, Cardinals verses Nationals.

“Really? The Cardinals? They’re from Missouri, aren’t they?” I questioned, not moving from my spot.

“Yeah, what’s your point?” He raised his eyebrow at me, a challenge.

“Doesn’t it make more sense to like a more…local team?” He scoffed.

“The Cardinals won the world series last year, thank you very much. And did you see this game? There was no way they were going to win. There were two outs in the bottom of the ninth, Cardinals were down, a guy on third, the pitcher sucked and walked some people then with _two strikes_ they hit the ball and scored. That’s why they’re awesome and that’s why they deserve my love.” I snorted, I couldn’t help it. He looked like a little kid, his face animated.

“Okay, yeah, whatever. Have fun with that. I have better things to do than watch baseball.” Derek looked seriously offended by that.

“What is possibly better than watching baseball?”

“Um, I don’t know, how about eating, sleeping, carnivals, funnel cakes, corn dogs, pizza, any food really, kissing, making out, sex,” I broke off as soon as that came out of my mouth. I can’t believe I just said that out loud. And to top it off, I’m me, so I obviously couldn’t stop talking after that. “Which, you know, I haven’t actually experienced that. I mean those last three things. My mouth is a virgin just like the rest of me and I really can’t believe I’m saying this out loud and I think it’s time for my Adderall.” Derek sat there watching me with an amused expression.

“Your mouth is a virgin just like the rest of you?” He asked, a smirk tugging on the corners of his mouth. My face turned an embarrassing shade of red and I knew I was staring at him but I couldn’t figure out how to look away. “You know, that can be easily changed.” I totally _did not_ squeak at that. I made a very manly sound of surprise.

“With that I’m going to go get some food. From my mother. Who is in the next room.” I said pointedly and started walking towards the kitchen. “Don’t worry I’ll bring you something.” I burst into the kitchen and made sure the door was closed before turning to my mother. “WHY would you let him in the house?” I stage whispered. “Do you want me to die? Is that it?” She rolled her eyes at me.

“I’ll give you some credit. You have good taste. If you’re going to like guys I would be perfectly happy for it to be him. He’s hot.” She winked at me and my jaw dropped. “I would take him as a son-in-law any day.”

“Mom! I actually did yell this time, mortified. “He’s here to work on a project. There is no interest from him at all other than school work. Which sucks by the way cuz AP classes suck. Suckity suckity suck.” She chuckled and I took a moment to appreciate the sound. I was feeling oddly sentimental, especially since every time I was around my mom I started to get a bad feeling. I walked up to her and hugged her tight. She made a noise and hugged me back.

“What was that for?” She asked when I pulled away. I shrugged.  
“I don’t know. I just love you, mom.” She smiled at me and patted my cheek.

“I made you guys some sandwiches since I was in here.” She handed me two plates and started to push me out of the door. I walked over to Derek and handed him one of the plates and he grinned at me. I started to move over to the recliner since he was sitting on the couch but he grabbed my shirt and pulled me so I flopped down next to him, startled. He smirked at me before looked over at my mom who was standing by the front door watching us.

“So, boys, I’m going to go to the store and then run some more errands. I’ll be gone for about an hour, maybe later. Have fun.” She winked at me and my jaw dropped.

“Mother!” I yelled, but she was already halfway out the door. I heard her chuckle and rolled my eyes. “Sorry about her. She’s a little odd sometimes.” Derek smiled at me, a genuine smile this time.

“It’s ok. She reminds me of my mom. I think they would get along great.” I smiled, looking down at my food. Suddenly I realized something.

“Hey, if you came over here to work on our project, why didn’t you bring any supplies or anything?” Derek’s smile turned into a grin and he didn’t bother answering. He relaxed back against the couch, focusing his attention on the TV screen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I made Derek a Cardinal fan, even though they live in California, because I'm a Cardinal fan and I know the most about them...I know nothing about California baseball teams...


	4. Chapter 4

For the next week and a half, Derek and I really had no contact outside of class. It was really confusing. One night he shows up at my house, sits next to me on my couch, and makes me watch baseball with him and the next he talks to me only when necessary. Whatever. It’s not like he would like me anyway. But, on the bright side, my birthday is tomorrow! I’ll be turning 17. Yeah, so maybe I’m a 17 year old sophomore, but hey, kindergarten was really hard! It’s not my fault my teacher could resist my adorable little boy charm! I flop down on my bed and sigh. I don’t really expect Scott to remember. I love the guy but he’s not very good at remembering…well…anything really. Not to mention Allison’s birthday is the day after mine. Funny how fast your best friend can forget you. I fall asleep thinking about green eyes and dark hair.

My mom was falling. I don’t know where we were but I was the only one around besides my mother. She was falling into a dark pit. I was reaching out to her, trying to grab her, but no matter how hard I tried to catch her I couldn’t. Her mouth was open in a silent scream and tears were falling down her face. She finally made a sound, screaming my name.

“Stiles!” I jerked upwards and ended up launching myself out of my bed. I was gasping for breath and looking around desperately, finding myself in my room. I sat on the floor for a minute and took deep breaths. _It was only a dream. Mom’s fine and she’s not going anywhere._ “Stiles!” I heard my mother’s voice again and realized she was calling me downstairs. I stood up and threw some clothes on before going downstairs. I froze on the bottom step and a felt a grin spread on my face. My parents were standing by the dining room table with a stack of chocolate chip pancakes and boysenberry syrup.

“Happy birthday!” They both yelled. I walked over and hugged my dad.

“You guys are the best!” I yelled and they laughed. I turned to my mom and dread filled my gut. I shook it off. _It was just a dream. Nothing’s going to happen to her._ I hugged my mom tight and for a long time I wouldn’t let go. I could tell she was confused, but thrilled. I took my time taking her in. Her smell, her hug, and when I pulled back, her face. “I love you mom.” I didn’t tell my mom that every day but that dream shook me. I felt like I needed to make sure she knew I love her. She smiled softly at me.

“I love you too Stiles. You’re dad and I have to go to work now but when you get home tonight I’m making your favorite. And we’re having ice cream cake.” Mom and dad started walking towards the door while I sat down to eat my pancakes. Mom made the best pancakes and it only took my about five minutes to finish all four of them. I went upstairs and went through my morning routine: take shower, get dressed, brush teeth, put on shoes, grab homework. I was out to my jeep in about 20 minutes and on my way to school.

Just like I suspected, Scott didn’t remember my birthday. For the first half of the day he went on and on about what he and Allison were going to do for my birthday. We were walking down the hallway to lunch when we passed Derek.  
“Happy birthday Stiles.” He said it in passing but it made my heart skip a beat. I wasn’t sure whether or not I should be concerned that he knew so much about me, but it really just made my face light up. Scott, on the other hand, looked like a kicked puppy.

“Stiles, why didn’t you say anything?! I totally forgot! I’ve been talking about Allison’s birthday all day and you didn’t say anything?” I shrugged.

“It doesn’t really matter Scott. It’s not one of those landmark birthdays. I’m actually in between those landmark birthdays.” This did nothing to calm Scott down. It didn’t really disappoint me that he forgot since I knew he would. What does it say about me that my best friend doesn’t remember my birthday and it doesn’t bother me?

“Even Derek remembered! I’m a horrible best friend!” I rolled my eyes.

“Would it make you feel better if I yell at you?” I questioned.

“Yes!”

“Ok, then, Scott, you’re the worst. I want a new best friend because you suck.” I deadpanned. Scott was making puppy eyes at me. “Food, Scott! I want to eat!” I dragged him to the cafeteria where he bought me five birthday/apology cookies. Not that I’m complaining.

It’s time for AP Lit. Which sucks. Me and Derek already finished our project in class and today was a work day. That means I have 45 minutes to sit and awkwardly not stare at Derek. He didn’t really say much to me these days and I really don’t know why. When I walked into the classroom he was already sitting down, which was unusual. Usually I was there first and have time to find something to distract me. Today he was sitting there beaming at me. I slowly walked over and sat down.

“Hey Stiles.” Derek’s voice was light and happy. I couldn’t help but raise my eyebrow.

“Hi…Derek. You seem chipper today.” I commented. His face, if possible, lit up even more.

“It’s a good day.” He affirmed. We fell into an almost-awkward-but-not-really silence. I reached down and pulled out my notebook as the late bell rang. The class sat talking for a few minutes while Ms. Leake was getting her papers together. “So you’re 17 today.” I looked up at him and nodded, my eyes narrowed.

“How do you know all this stuff?” I questioned before I lost my nerve. Derek actually _blushed_. He looked up at me through his eyelashes while a flirty smirk appeared on his face.

“My mom and your mom used to be close friends. I was at the hospital when you were born. I was only almost one at the time. Mom has a picture of us together when I was two and you were one. I just… I don’t know. I’m interested.” I tilted my head to the side.

“Really? Why hasn’t my mom said anything?”

“Mom says they used to work together but they grew apart. My mom got another job and they just lost contact.” I nodded contemplatively. I didn’t understand why my mom wouldn’t have said anything since she knew about my infatuation with Derek.

Ms. Leake was just standing up to start class when there was a knock on the door. No one could see out through the window on the door except for her. When her face became pale you could feel everyone in the class suddenly become interested. She walked over to the door and opened it. I barely heard her say ‘Hello Sheriff’ and I froze. Why was my dad here? I could hear my dad’s voice but I couldn’t hear his words. I tensed up. This couldn’t mean anything good. Ms. Leake turned to look at me.

“Stiles?” She asked softly. My eyes widened. “Could you come here?” I slowly stood up and walked to the front of the class. I got to the doorway and looked at my dad. He looked like he had aged 10 years since this morning and his eyes were red. That same feeling of dread filled my gut and I could barely breathe. He took my out to the hallway and grabbed my arms.  
“Stiles.” His voice was strained and broken and he couldn’t meet my eyes. “It’s-” He cut off.

“Is it mom?” My voice was small and weak. “Is she okay? What happened?” Tears started falling down his face.

“She got in a car accident. Someone ran through an intersection and hit her car. She’s…she’s dead.” My whole world stopped right then. The only thing I could see was my mom’s face smiling at me this morning, telling me she loved me. I could feel my breath getting shorter and shorter and it became harder to breathe. I fell against the wall panting for breath. My dad ran into the classroom yelling for Ms. Leake to call the nurse but it was all background noise. _Mom’s dead. She’s never coming back._ I slid down the wall and realized I was shaking. I was struggling to get any air at all while sobs shook my body. I saw someone sink down beside me but I didn’t, _couldn’t_ look. _Mom’s dead_.

“Stiles! Stiles look at me!” The voice was frantic, desperate. I distantly registered it was Derek’s voice. When I didn’t look at him he moved in front of me. “Stiles look at me!” He grabbed my chin and made me meet his eyes. “Stiles breathe! Please, Stiles, breathe!” He was begging now and without any conscious effort from me I took a deep breath. I saw his shoulders relax slightly but there was still tension there. He sat down beside me and pulled me onto his lap, arms wrapping around me tightly.

“Derek,” I sobbed. “My mom.” He pulled me closer.

“I know, Stiles. I know.” I realized I was shaking and Derek was slightly rocking me back and forth, like consoling a child. The thought made fresh tears stream down my face. _Mom’s dead. She’s never coming back_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. I was writing it section by section and I haven't really had time to sit and write it. Also this practically killed me to write so I was kinda putting it off I think....sorry for any spelling/grammer errors


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I'm still not sure if I want the Hales to be werewolves so input would be greatly appreciated :D Thanks for all the comments and love... you guys are the best!

I was faintly aware that the whole class was watching me have a breakdown while Derek had me on his lap. Under any other circumstances I probably would have been mortified and ran away but right now…it doesn’t really matter. I stared blankly down the hallway as the nurse hurried towards us. She was too late. I could breathe again and there was nothing she could do. I shifted a little on Derek’s lap and his arms tightened around me, thinking I was getting up. Something broke inside me at the small gesture. My body went limp against his and I buried my face in his neck. I was probably going to regret it later but right now I just needed to be held.

I heard my dad and Ms. Leake explaining to the nurse what happened and she responded that I probably had a panic attack. I had never had a panic attack before and I hoped to never have one again.

I had stopped crying, my whole body feeling numb. I was apathetic. Even the fact that it was _Derek’s_ lap I was on didn’t really make me feel anything. Derek rubbed his cheek against the top of my head, and I probably imagined it, but I thought I also felt lips on my forehead. Ms. Leake made the students go back to the classroom and she turned to look at me and Derek. I thought maybe she was going to make Derek let me go and I almost started to panic again. She looked at me sadly and then walked into the classroom, closing the door. I sighed in relief.

“Stiles?” I looked up at my dad, flinching at how much older he looked. “Do you want to go home?” I nodded but didn’t move at all. Neither did Derek. My dad’s eyes flickered to Derek then back to me. I knew I was supposed to get up but Derek’s arms were like a blanket, warm and comforting. I didn’t want to move. It was a few moments before Derek’s arms slipped away from me. He didn’t push me away, letting me get up whenever I wanted to. I stayed there, nuzzling his neck, for a few seconds longer before getting up. I walked to dad and wrapped my arms around myself, feeling suddenly small. My dad hugged me but it wasn’t the same. Dad’s shoulders were tense in a way they weren’t before.

“Dad,” My voice cracked on the word and my well of emotions burst forth again. Tears welled up in my eyes and the pain in my father’s face deepened. My only thought was _I have to get out of here_. I turned, running as fast as I could to the front of the school. I heard my dad’s shout of ‘Stiles!’ But I kept running.

I ran out the front door and to the parking lot, bypassing my jeep. I knew I couldn’t see enough to drive anywhere. I don’t know where I was going, only that I had to get away. Away from my dad. Away from the school. Away from life. Before I knew it I had ran into the woods. I don’t know how far into them I had gone before I collapsed. My breath was coming in short gasps and sobs were tearing their way through my chest. I fell against a tree and slid down. I tried to control my sobs. _Why today? Why on my_ birthday _of all days? Today was supposed to be perfect. Pancakes for breakfast, go to school, go home, and eat the best birthday dinner ever because mom only ever makes it one day a year. She can’t be_ gone _. No. I’m going to go home and she’s going to be at the stove cooking. She’s going to hug me and tell me happy birthday. Then we’re going to have cake._ I knew telling myself this wasn’t helping. It was only going to make it worse when I got home. I realized my hands were shaking, along with the rest of me.

“Stiles?” My head jerked up towards the sound and I choked on a sob.  
“How do you always show up at the perfect time?” I managed to say. Derek smiled sadly at me.

“Just instinct I guess.” He answered. He walked over so he was standing right in front of me, holding out his hand. I looked at him hesitantly. “My house isn’t too far from here. It’s going to start raining soon and we might as well get inside.” He explained. I took his hand and he pulled me to me feet. We started walking towards where I assumed his house was. He didn’t let go of my hand, but instead slipped our fingers together. Any other times I would have questioned his motives, but I knew he was just comforting me. It’s just pity, that’s all. It was a short walk to his house and the trip was silent.

“Mom?” Derek called when we walked in the front door.

“Derek?” A woman’s voice called. “Honey is Stiles with you? The Sheriff called and explained what-” Mrs. Hale’s voice trailed off as she rounded the corner. She looked just like Derek. Her hair was dark and nearly down to her waist. She was only about two inches taller than me, which makes Derek almost 2 inches taller than her. She had smile lines around her mouth and eyes. Her green eyes showed the same sad, concerned expression that Derek’s had. “Stiles, you poor thing, come here.” She rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug. The hug was awkward because Derek still hadn’t let go of my hand. She hugged me tight and for a long time until the tension went out of my shoulders. She pulled back and her hands went to my face.

“Mom, you’re smothering him.” Derek sounded amused and she turned to give him a _look._ She rolled her eyes then and turned.

“I made some chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate. They’re in the kitchen.” She walked towards what I was assuming the kitchen. As soon as she disappeared through the doorway I sighed. Derek turned to me as I slumped against the door. He took a few steps forward and his hands bracketed my head. One hand went to my chin and tiled my face up.

“Hey, you okay? Mom’s just… trying to help. She probably doesn’t realize that she’s…making it difficult.” Derek whispered. His questioning green eyes searched mine. I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around him. He froze for about a millisecond before his arms went around me.

“Thank you.” I choked out. He nuzzled the top of my head and pulled me closer.

“For what?” He questioned softly.

“I just…for…being here I guess. We’re not exactly friends but you’re being so awesome and understanding and your mom made cookies and hot chocolate which are two of my favorite things and my mom makes them every Christmas but now she can’t and I just don’t know how to handle it and your mom’s being so nice and sweet and I just-” I stopped abruptly, realizing I was rambling. Derek just held me until my heartbeat steadied. I heard footsteps and assumed Mrs. Hale was coming to check to make sure we were coming. They paused for a second before retreating back to the kitchen.

“I think after this we can be considered friends.” Derek finally replied. I smiled into his neck and he pulled back enough to look at my face. “Let’s go get chocolate high.” I grinned at him and he grinned back. “That’s a good look on you. I know you don’t have a reason to smile right now but I love seeing it.” As he pulled me into the kitchen by my hand, I realized how Derek was acting like my boyfriend. I mean there’s no kissing or anything but he keeps holding me and complimenting me and he’s always there. He even remembered my birthday when Scott didn’t. It was odd but it was soothing and comforting to know someone cared enough to skip school for me. Derek pulled out a chair at the breakfast bar for me and I sat down. Mrs. Hale set a stack of cookies and a mug of hot chocolate in front of me. I smiled timidly at her.

“Thanks Mrs. Hale.” She wagged her finger at me.

“You can call me Hannah. Mrs. Hale makes me feel so old.” I chuckled softly and she beamed at me. My grin suddenly fell away as I thought about how my mom would never grow old. They noticed my change in mood and Derek scooted closer to me. I picked up the hot chocolate and took a sip. I gasped as I swallowed it.

“This tastes just like mom’s.” My voice cracked on the word mom and Derek’s hand went to the back of my neck, massaging it. Hannah’s smile was timid.

“That’s because it’s the same recipe. We came up with it when we worked together. We never told anyone our secret. I hoped it would help.” I nodded solemnly.

“Thanks. It does, I just…wasn’t expecting it.” I looked up at her curiously. “What _is_ the recipe?” She grinned.

“It’s chocolate milk heated up with peppermint melted in it.” My eyes widened.

“Really? That’s it? You mean I could have made it this whole time?” I whined. Hannah laughed.

“You boys take your stuff into the den. Watch a movie or something. I’ll let your dad know you’re here.” I felt a pang in my chest as she mentioned my dad. I felt guilty for leaving him alone but there is really no way I could face him right now. I think I’m out of tears but the pain in my chest still hurts. I nodded at her, grabbing my stuff, and following Derek to the den.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part where Derek finds Stiles in the woods and takes him back to his house is an idea I used from my other story Jersey: http://archiveofourown.org/works/529154  
> It's not in detail in Jersey and I wanted to do more with it so I decided to use it here.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any spelling/grammar errors. I was writing this while doing my Spanish homework.

We got to the den and Derek took my hot chocolate out of my hands. I whined in protest and he smirked at me. He set my hot chocolate on the end table before sitting on the couch. He held his arms out and I stared at him warily.

“Sit with me?” He asked softly. I slowly sat down next to him and he huffed in frustration. Arms wrapped around my waist and tugged me so I was sitting on his lap. I blushed furiously but my body unconsciously relaxed against Derek. He grabbed my hot chocolate and gently pressed it into my hand. I sipped it as he grabbed the TV remote. He pressed the on button and The Avengers DVD home screen showed up. I couldn’t help but snort at him as he started the movie.

“I didn’t take you as the kind of person to like The Avengers.” I teased. He smiled.

“I haven’t watched it yet. It’s Laura’s movie.” He clarified.

“Laura is my kind of person.” I mumbled. My hot chocolate was almost gone, my cookies were long gone, and I was starting to doze off. My eyes were stinging because I had been crying and I was physically and emotionally tired of facing the world… even if that world included Derek Hale. I finished the hot chocolate and set the cup on the table then turned so I was sitting sideways on Derek’s lap. I laid my head on his shoulder and his arms tightened around me. He tilted his head so he could rub his cheek against my forehead. If I didn’t know any better I would think he was _nuzzling_ me. “You sure do like to cuddle.”

“Mmm-hmm.” Was his response. I glanced up, seeing his eyes glued to the screen as he started to…wait…was he _purring?_ Yup, there’s definitely a rumble in his chest. _Humming_ maybe, although he wasn’t making any noise other than a rumbling sound. Whatever it was, it was soothing my frayed nerves. I could feel the tightness in my chest that had been there since my dad told me the news start to loosen. My whole body went nearly limp and I started to fade into sleep.

“Stiles.” Someone was shaking me gently and whispering my name. I whined, burrowing deeper into the warmth next to me. I heard a chuckle and I cracked an eye open. My eyes met amused green ones as I suddenly remembered where I was. I realized I currently had my face buried in Derek’s chest and he was trying to wake me up. I sat up quickly and wiped my mouth, checking for drool. I was relieved I found none. “Good morning.” I blushed.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I apologized. Derek shook his head.

“You needed to sleep. I just woke you up because it’s getting late and I figured you should go home.” He explained. I started to nod before I froze. I started to internally panic at the thought of going home. If I went home then _mom wouldn’t be there_. I tried not to show my panic but Derek obviously noticed it. He raised his hands to cradle my face and soothingly rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks. “Hey, hey, hey, I’m sorry. Come here.” Derek pulled me back to him and massaged the back of my neck. My breathing was fast and my chest was tight again. I started to pull back but Derek held me tight. I slumped against him and waited until my breathing was normal. I attempted to pull back again and he let me, just enough to face him.

“I- sorry- I just…if I go home mom won’t be there. There’s cake in the freezer and stuff to make my birthday dinner and everything will smell like her and everything will remind me of her and I-” I cut myself off, taking a deep breath. “I shouldn’t be dumping this on you. I’ll…go home.” My voice broke and I cursed it. I didn’t want Derek to pity me, but when I looked into his eyes all I saw was understanding. I slid off of him and stood in front of him. A hand reached out and grabbed my wrist, stilling me.

“Stiles, you can stay here if you need to. Tomorrow’s Saturday so it shouldn’t be a problem. I can understand if you don’t want to go home yet.” I turned, relieved at his words. As much as I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t agree to stay.

“I can’t, Derek. I don’t want to impose on you guys anymore.” I said softly. He pulled me closer to him.

“Mom would be thrilled, Laura would love to meet you, my dad won’t care, and I…I want you to stay…with me.” My face flushed a deep crimson at his words. I smiled and bit my lip shyly. Derek’s eyes immediately flew to my lips and watched as I bit it. I released my lip with a pop, and it must have been a trick of the light, because I could have sword Derek’s eyes flashed light blue when I did. “Stay.” Derek’s voice sounded more strangled now, pleading almost.

“We should probably ask your mom first.” I muttered. Derek’s face lit up and a grin broke out on his face. I couldn’t help but grin back. He pulled me to the stairs and then up. The top of the stairs opens up right to the kitchen, so I wasn’t prepared to be faced with the rest of Derek’s family. Hannah was standing at the stove stirring something in a pot. The girl I assumed was Laura sat at the table with an Advanced Chemistry book and notebook open in front of her. She was a mirror image of her mother, with long dark hair and green eyes. Mr. Hale was tall, at least a head taller than Derek, with dark hair and, unlike the rest of them, had blue eyes. All three of them turned to us and I involuntarily flinched. I was surprised when a pair of feminine arms wrapped around me.

“You must be Stiles!” I didn’t recognize the enthusiastic voice so I assumed it was Laura. She pulled back and grabbed my face in her hands. “You’re adorable!” Laura was two years older than Derek and in her second year of college. I don’t know what she was studying but something to do with science. “Derek you didn’t say he was so cute!” She scolded. Derek, whose hand was still holding my wrist, pulled me away from Laura. I was nearly smothered as one arm wrapped around my waist and the other around my head, my face buried in this chest.

“Mine. Don’t touch.” Derek growled, a playful lilt to his voice. My heart thumped loudly in my chest when he said it, though I couldn’t explain why. Sure, I had a crush on him, but no one had ever made my heart skip a beat. Maybe mom was right. Maybe I did love… _mom_. My breath hitched and tears sprang to my eyes. Derek immediately loosened his grip. He tilted my head up, eyes scanning my face, finally resting on my eyes. “Did I hurt you?” he questioned. I shook my head.

“No, just…mom.” I choked out. He slid his hand up to my neck and squeezed. It was strangely comforting for such an odd gesture. I managed to smile weakly up at him. I suddenly remembered his whole family was watching and I blushed, my eyes darting to them. Hannah was, thankfully, pretending to focus on cooking. Laura had gone back to pretending to study. Mr. Hale’s eyes were still on us though, his gaze curious. He stood up and walked over to us. When he reached us he held his hand out to shake mine.

“Nice to finally meet you Stiles. I’ve heard a lot about you.” I felt Derek stiffen next to me. I glanced at him and he was blushing- _blushing_ \- and his eyes were huge. He was _embarrassed._ I couldn’t help but grin at him and he relaxed.

“It’s nice to meet you too Mr. Hale.” I replied.

“Call me Andrew.” I smiled and nodded. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Oh, right, that’s what we came up here for. Can Stiles stay here tonight?” Derek questioned.

“Of course! You’re welcome here any time.” Hannah trilled. Her face looked like a Christmas tree with how happy she was.

“Told you she’d be happy.” Derek whispered in my ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone voted yes on the Hale family being werewolves so werewolves it is. Enjoy :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Fluff ahead.  
> Also, this is short. It's 2am on Friday night/Saturday morning and I'm tired. But I don't have to go to school tomorrow so I decided to write this instead of sleep. I'm sorry if it sucks but seriously, it's 2 in the morning.  
> P.S. I love you all.

We sat down for dinner, Derek on one side of me and Laura on the other. I was seriously becoming concerned that Hannah’s face was going to get stuck in a permanent smile. Also, it turns out that Hannah makes the best spaghetti. Dinner, thankfully, wasn’t awkward at all. They mostly discussed Laura’s schoolwork and Derek’s baseball. They successfully managed to distract me from thoughts of my mother which, I suspect, was the plan. The awkward moment came after dinner. I yawned so wide my jaw cracked and Derek chuckled.

“You trying to tell me something?” He teased. My face heated immediately.

“Sorry. It’s been a long day.” I sighed. Derek nodded in understanding.

“Do you just want to go to bed?” He questioned. I smiled at him.

“Yeah, kinda. I don’t want to be rude…” I tried off as Derek grabbed my hand. He led me down a hallway to a set of doorways. He opened one of the doors which led to his bedroom. The walls were made of wood paneling and the floors were dark blue carpet. The bed was in the corner, pushed up against the wall. There was a TV with a DVD player hooked up to it and a case for the Cardinals World Series 2011 games sitting on top of it. A baseball was sitting on the floor with a bat a few feet away. I turned to Derek. “What are you doing?” I questioned.

“Um, getting ready for bed?”

“Oh…ok.” I answered hesitantly, unsure. Derek walked over to his closet and pulled open the door. Inside there was a set of drawers, one of which he opened. The next thing I knew there was cloth covering my face. I reached up and pulled it off, revealing a pair of sweatpants. I looked back up to Derek, confused.

“You don’t want to sleep in your jeans, do you?” He asked, sensing my confusion. I shook my head and looked down. Did he expect me to change in front of him? “The bathroom is right across the hall.” I smiled gratefully at him and turned. I went into the bathroom and closed the door. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and my jaw dropped. My eyes were still swollen from crying even though I had stopped a long time ago. My eyes looked exhausted, and my face was pale. Well, more pale than usual. I cringed. Derek and his family have spent the past few hours with me and I looked like _this?_ Great first impression. I quickly changed into the sweatpants and went back into Derek’s room. He was lying on the bed wearing nothing but the sweatpants he changed into. I blushed, looking at the ground.

“Where do you want me to…” I let the question hang, knowing he understood. He sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Close the door.” I did as I was told and turned back to him. He patted the bed beside him and I tentatively walked over. He opened his arms as I laid down, pulling me to him. “Do you want the TV on or off?” He questioned. I shrugged.

“I don’t care. Whatever you prefer. I can sleep through it.” He smiled gently at me before grabbing the remote and pushing the power button. He switched the channel to Investigation Discovery and I snorted. “You watch crime shows to put you to sleep?”

 He shot me a look.

“We don’t all have Sheriffs for fathers, Stiles.” I flinched as soon as he mentioned my father. He squeezed me tighter and nuzzled my neck.

“Sorry.” He mumbled. I grunted my acceptance while he leaned over me, switching off the lamp. I rolled over so I was facing the TV, my back to Derek. He scooted closer to me and pressed his body to mine. His arm was slung over my waist and I felt the barely there trail of lips on the back of my neck. I started slipping into sleep as soon as Derek pulled the blanket up, but one question kept me awake.

“Can I ask you a question?” Derek made a sound of acknowledgement. “Why are you doing so much for me?” I felt Derek tense briefly before relaxing again.  
“I care about you.” Was his response.

“I mean why? I’ve barely ever talked to you before but you’re being awesome and taking care of me like we’ve been friends forever.” Derek’s breath was ghosting over my neck and I barely managed to hold back a shiver. Derek grunted.

“I don’t actually know. I just…feel the need to protect you.” His arms tightened around me, wrapping me in a cocoon of warmth. I most definitely _did not_ whine. “It’s like my instincts just kick in when I’m with you. I don’t like seeing you upset.” I smiled, accepting this answer. The last thing I remember before slipping into sleep if the trail of Derek’s nose up my neck.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually wasn't planning on writing tonight but I've almost made it to 50 comments and you guys gave me feels so this is for you :)

I woke up slowly, warm all over. I laid there with my eyes closed, letting the heat envelop me for a little while longer. It took awhile to realize that the heat was caused by the body currently spooning me and the arm slung around my waist. My heart started thumping in my chest and I sat straight up. I felt stupid as I looked down and met Derek’s concerned eyes.

“You okay?” He questioned, his voice thick with sleep. I smiled sheepishly back at him.

“Yeah... I forgot where I was for a minute.” I admitted. He grinned and reached up, grabbing my shirt. He pulled me back down so I was lying on my back. He was laying on his side so I ended up staring awkwardly at the ceiling while he was starting awkwardly at my face. Of course, being Derek, he didn’t think it was awkward at all. In fact, he was smiling a little bit. I risked a glace over at him and gasped. His eyes were almost neon blue and he looked so completely satisfied. I rolled over so I was on my side, realizing somewhere in the back of my mind that his mouth was only about two inches from mine. My hand slowly rose to his face before I could think about what I was doing. My fingertips went to under his right eye and he made that almost _purring_ sound again.

“Your eyes.” I whispered. Said eyes were latched onto mine and my heart skipped a beat. I didn’t take the time to wonder why I wasn’t freaked out that his eyes apparently change color and glow. He made a growly sound that matched the satisfied smirk on his face. Apparently he liked me touching him. “Why are you purring?” I questioned. “How do humans even purr? Or growl?” It was truly a sign of my sudden nerves, the talking. Because I realized I was laying on Derek Hale’s bed, with said Derek Hale practically cuddling me, my face two inches away from his, and I was touching his face. The closeness was too much for my virgin body to take. I sat up and pulled away, causing Derek to while. I looked at him, raising my eyebrow. “What you’re whining now? What are you, a puppy?” Derek looked practically offended.

“I prefer to think of myself as more of a wolf.” He responded. I rolled my eyes but I couldn’t keep the smile off of my face.

“Of course you do. The only objection I have to that is wolfs don’t cuddle but puppies do. And you, sir, like to cuddle.” I argued, getting off of the bed completely. Derek grabbed my wrist before I could go anywhere.

“How do you know wolves don’t like to cuddle?” He challenged.

“Well I don’t know for a fact, but if I meet a wolf and it likes to cuddle, I’ll let you know.” A smile slid on to his face then, and it was one of those ‘I know something you don’t know’ smiles. “Anyway,” I wasn’t even going to ask. “I think it’s time I go h-” I couldn’t force the word ‘home’ out. It wasn’t really home without mom there. I felt the guilt weigh down on me that while I was cuddling with Derek, my dad was home alone trying to deal with everything by himself. Derek stood up and pulled me into a hug. I let my forehead rest on his shoulder. I really could get used to all of this affection. A thought suddenly occurred to me though, and I jerked away from Derek. He didn’t let me go far, his arms still holding on tight.

“Stiles, what’s wrong?” I was still trying to pull away but he was having none of it.

“Let me go.” I demanded. He didn’t, of course, because he’s Derek Hale and he apparently loves to cuddle.

“Why?” He demanded right back. I sighed and stopped struggling, knowing it as a hopeless cause.

“I don’t want your pity cuddles.” I managed weakly. I felt so pathetic. The whole time I thought he might actually like me, but he’s just being nice. He’s sweet and gentle and concerned and he’s just trying to make me feel better, nothing more. Derek made another growly sound, this one sounding absolutely furious. And since when could I discern his growling sounds?

“I’m not… I don’t… Stiles!” He stuttered. “You think I’m cuddling you because I pity you?” And yup, he was definitely angry.

“Well I don’t see any other reason as to why you would.” I shot back. His mouth opened, then snapped shut.

“Maybe it’s because I care about you? Maybe it’s because I don’t like seeing you hurt and in pain? Maybe it’s because I want to do everything I can to try to make you smile even though you don’t have a reason.” Derek’s voice softened on the last sentence and I felt tears prick my eyes. I let myself lean against him, even if I didn’t believe him. I don’t know how long we stood there, a few minutes at least, before I finally spoke again.

“You know, you’re going to spoil me with all the cuddling.” Derek’s body shook with silent laughter.

“I’m available any time.” He teased. I snorted, pulling back enough to look at him.

“Any time, huh? So what if I’m in the shower- and you know what? I’m just going to stop that right there. Seriously, I need to go home. My dad’s alone and I just… need to be there with him.” I sighed sadly. “I left him there by himself last night while I was avoiding it. I’m a horrible son.” I tried to pull away again but seriously, the guy was like a brick wall.

“Stiles, that’s not fair. Your dad doesn’t blame you. He told mom he was relieved that you were staying here. He didn’t want you to have to face it if you didn’t have to. He’s willing to give you some time away.”

“But while I’m here, he’s there by himself. You and your family are helping me deal with it, but who’s helping him? I have to go home.” Derek nodded, finally releasing me. He walked over to where I had left my clothes and picked them up. I had slept in his clothes and I expected him to give them back to me but he just held them.

“I’ll take you home.” He said. He held out his hand and I stared at it blankly. He sighed like I was thick in the head and laced our fingers together. He pulled me through the house by the hand and I was kind of relieved we didn’t run in to any of his family members. We got to his car and he tossed my clothes on my lap. The drive to my house was silent. It only took about five minutes to get there, but I felt like I was going to my death. Derek’s hand went to the back of my neck as if sensing my unease. “Hey.” He said. I looked at him.

“I don’t know if I can do this.” I admitted.

“You’ll be okay. You’re stronger than you think.” I smiled at him as we pulled into my driveway. I opened my door, preparing to get out, when I looked at Derek.

“Thanks. I honestly don’t know if I could have made it through yesterday without you.” I blushed and he grinned at me. I got out and was about to close the door when Derek spoke.  
“Stiles?” I looked back at him. “Any time. Even if you’re in the shower.” My jaw dropped and I slammed the car door. Taking a deep breath I walked to my front door and went inside.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am soooooo sorry guys. I meant to get this up a long time ago but I've spent the last 4 days curled up in crippling agony only to run to the bathroom every five minutes to empty my stomach of nonexistent food. I lost 5lbs in 3 days from the lack of food in my stomach... sorry for that but I feel you should suffer with me :p BUT I have it up now so yay!

“Stiles?” My dad’s voice called from the dining room.

“Yeah, dad.” I responded. I took a deep breath, bracing myself, before walking into the dining room. I froze when I saw Scott and Melissa McCall sitting across from my dad. Scott immediately stood and came over to me. Scott’s not a very affectionate guy, except with Allison, so the hug he gave me surprised me. I appreciated it although it lacked the warmth that Derek’s had.

“Hey Scott.” I mumbled. I had hoped to come home just to dad so I could hug him and then go lock myself in my room. Looks like that wasn’t happening. I looked at dad and Mrs. McCall. Dad made a shooing motion, saying we could go up to my room. I turned towards the stairs and Scott followed me. We were silent going up to my room. Scott didn’t know what to say and I just didn’t want to talk. I threw myself on my bed, avoiding looking at Scott. The silence didn’t last very long.

“Stiles, I’m sorry-” Scott started.

“Don’t, Scott. Please. Not right now. I don’t want to talk about it.” My voice cracked and I mentally cursed myself. Now that Derek was gone I had to put up a wall. No one else could see me as vulnerable as I let Derek see me. That thought scared me a little bit. Why am I willing to let Derek see me break down but when it comes to Scott, my best friend, I refused?

“I-uh- I got you something. For your birthday.” Scott grabbed the bag that I had just noticed and handed it to me.

“Thanks Scott.” I said blankly. My birthday didn’t seem so happy anymore. I pulled out the Avengers DVD case and felt the corner of my mouth twitch up in a smile. Scott noticed and his whole face brightened so much that I had to look away. “Thanks.” I said more warmly. I didn’t like that Scott was worried about me.

“So you and Derek, huh?” My head snapped up to look at Scott.

“What?” I squeaked, my face heating. Scott’s grin widened.

“Everyone at school was talking about how he was cuddling you in the hallway and your dad said you were at his house. Is there something going on there?”

“What, I mean no what would, how do you even, where in the, how?” My rambling seemed to be all the answer Scott needed. He gave me a knowing look and smirked. “No, Scott. Just no. That’s not even…” I gave up. Scott wasn’t going to believe a word I said anyway.

“Well you spent the night as his house, you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday, when I hugged you earlier you smelled like him, and I’m pretty sure there was some serious cuddling that happened. There’s something.” Scott smiled smugly, nodding once. “And you didn’t call me once so you must have been, um, _busy._ ”

“Scott! Really, dude? He found me in the woods and he took me to his house. His mom made me cookies and hot chocolate and I fell asleep. When I woke up we had dinner and he asked me to stay then we went to bed.” I left out all the details about the cuddling and sleeping in the same bed, but those were things Scott didn’t need to know. From the knowing look he gave me, he had already figured it out.

“Scott?” Melissa’s voice called from the living room.

“Guess it’s time to go.” Scott stood and walked over to me. I stood up so he could hug me before I flopped back on the bed. “Call me if you need anything. Or if you need to talk. Just… for anything, okay?” I nodded at Scott and tried to give him a reassuring smile. I knew it wasn’t very convincing but it appeased him enough to leave. I tried to keep my eyes open, knowing dad would be up to my room soon, but I drifted off to sleep before I even finished the thought.

 

*********************************************************** 

 

I woke with a start, my stomach churning. I knew what was coming so I rushed to my trash can just in time to empty my stomach. I collapse to the floor, resting my head on the cool floor. I tried to calm my breathing while wiping my mouth with my shirt.

“Stiles?” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the voice. A hand rested on my shoulder, rubbing soothing circles. I turned my eyes and met Derek’s concerned green ones. “Are you okay?” It took me a moment to find my voice, surprised that Derek is in my bedroom.

“I… yeah.” I sat up, crossing my legs. My head was spinning from the lack of oxygen my puking had caused and I groaned. Derek sat down right across from me. He reached out and took my hands in his larger ones.

“Was that because of…?” He trailed off but I knew what he was asking.

“No. I think I might be getting sick. Wait, what are you doing here?” I looked at him, my brow furrowed in confusion. He smiled at me.

“Your dad called my mom to thank her for letting you stay last night.  Mom got it out of him that he wasn’t going to be home today and that you were going to be left alone so she sent me over here to keep you company. I felt my face fall and cursed myself for it. I pulled my hands out of his and stood up, ignoring the confusion on his face. He wasn’t here by _choice,_ his mom _made_ him come over here. I was pathetic, thinking he just wanted to see me. I turned toward the bedroom door, heading to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Derek followed me and I didn’t stop him.

“Did my dad say where he was going?” I questioned after I finished brushing my teeth. Derek studied my face, which I schooled into a blank mask. He looked disappointed and when he finally spoke I could hear it reflected in his tone.

“He said he had some arrangements to make and that he didn’t like leaving you alone. He said he would be back by dinner. I felt my guilt crash over me and I sucked in a deep breath. “What?”

“I haven’t talked to him since… yesterday.” Was it only yesterday? “I don’t want to leave him dealing with it all by himself I just… I can’t… I don’t know how… I-”

“Stiles,” Derek cut me off gently. “he understands. He’s not mad at you. He’s worried about you. He’s letting you cope with it in your own way.”

“But he needs me!” I protested weakly. Derek stepped forward, tugging me against his chest. I went willingly, only so he wouldn’t look so sad.

“Your dad’s a sheriff. He’s strong. He sees tragedy all the time.” Derek’s soothing tone calmed my nerves, but not my guilt.

“But he hasn’t… he loves her. He doesn’t love those people he sees hurt. He’s heartbroken. I’m his son and I should be there for him.” I took a shuddering breath while my tears started to fall. Derek held me tighter. “We’re all we have left.”

“You have me, Stiles, and my family. We’ll do everything we can. You guys don’t have to be alone.” Derek held me for awhile longer, until my sobs subsided. After that we went downstairs, where I made lunch, and watched movies on the couch until my dad returned home hours later.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this is kind of a filler. School's been hectic and I have tons of other stuff going on.

As soon as my dad opened the front door I felt the panic hit me. I tried to compose myself but, judging by the look on Derek’s face, I wasn’t doing a very good job. He reached over, squeezing my knee quickly before retracting his hand. My dad was the sheriff after all. When dad walked into the living room I tensed. I didn’t want to be alone with him. I just… couldn’t do that yet. I turned to Derek.

“Will you stay for dinner?” I asked, a little frantically. My dad stopped, looking at Derek. Derek’s eyes flicked between us before settling on my dad. Dad smiled sadly at him.

“You might as well. It’s the least I can do since you stayed here with Stiles all day. He can be a little hard to handle sometimes.” My dad attempted to joke. I flinched and guilt flooded his face.

“Please. Stay.” I asked softly. Derek’s eyes met mine for a moment before he nodded.

“I’ll stay.” He agreed. There was an awkward moment where dad and I stared at each other. Mom was usually the one who made dinner. I hopped up suddenly, breaking the silence.

“I’ll go get it started then.” I hurried to the kitchen, knowing Derek would follow. I was almost frantic while I started, rushing around the kitchen, pulling out pans and noodles and hamburger meat.

“Stiles.” Derek tried to stop me, but I was afraid that if I stopped moving, I would start panicking. “Stiles.” Derek tried again but I didn’t respond. “Stiles!” Derek grabbed my wrists and spun me around. I looked up at him, gasping for breath. He slowly backed me up against the counter and leaned forward. His hands were on my hips and his eyes were nearly smoldering. My breathing started to slow, which startled me. You would think the closer he was to me, the higher my heart rate would be. Instead I was relaxing.

“I can’t.”  I gasped. His hands went up to cup my face, making me meet his eyes.

“You can’t what?” He questioned softly. He swayed forward and his hot breath fanned over my face. My breath hitched and I bit my lip.

“I can’t be alone with him. If we’re alone and… and she’s not here… she has to be here, Derek! I don’t know how to…” I slumped, closing my eyes. “I don’t know how to live without her.” I knew how broken I sounded, how pathetic I must have looked. I sighed, suddenly feeling so exhausted, physically and mentally. It was silent for a moment, Derek’s presence warming me like a blanket. I knew it couldn’t last. He needed to leave before I got too attached- before I started to get used to it. “You should go.” I whispered, not meeting his eyes.

“Stiles, I’m not going anywhere. Not as long as I think you want me here.” I slumped even more at his words, sighing again. “What?”

“You don’t have to stay here. You have a life, your family, your friends. You probably have more important things to do. Go do them.” I tensed, ready for him to walk away. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t move. I waited until I realized he wanted my full attention. I looked up finally, startled at how close he was to me. I could have sworn his eyes flashed blue, but figured I imagined it.

“Nothing is more important to me than you right now.” He said finally. The breath whooshed out of me. I searched his eyes but I could only see sincerity. Before I could stop myself I threw my arms around him and buried my face in his neck. He made that almost-purring sound again and slipped his arms around me. One of his hands slid just under my shirt, rubbing soothing circles on my back. We stayed like that for a moment until I heard footsteps walking towards the kitchen. I jerked away from Derek, turning back to the stove. I poured the water in the pot, just as my dad reached the doorway. And If Derek still had one hand on my back, well, at least dad didn’t say anything about it.

Dinner was long and silent. I was thankful for Derek being there. I wasn’t at all ready to discuss my feelings with my dad. Talking to Derek was different than talking to my dad. Derek was sympathetic, he was _trying_ to understand. He wanted to be there for me because he thought I needed him. It was more than I ever could have asked of him and I appreciated it. My dad, though, he was suffering. He knew exactly how I felt and for some reason I didn’t want someone to know exactly how I felt. If dad wanted to talk about it then it became that much more _real_. I knew in my head that she wasn’t coming back. I knew that it was just me and dad now. But that doesn’t mean I was ready to _talk about it._ I was startled out of my thoughts when Derek stood up. I looked up at him, afraid. He smiled at me but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I need to get going.” He said softly. I felt my eyes widen, but I nodded. My dad and I stood up.

“Derek,” My dad started. We both turned to him. “The visitation is in two days. The funeral is in three days. I’d like it if you and your family came. Your mother and my wife used to be good friends.” My dad’s voice cracked when he said ‘wife’ and I flinched. Derek nodded.

“I’ll let them know, Sheriff.” Derek agreed. Dad nodded, leaning down to start cleaning up the table. I walked with Derek towards the door, not looking at him.

“Stiles, are you gonna be okay?” He asked quietly. I nodded, eyes on the floor. “Look at me.” I looked up. “I’ll stay if you need me.” I shook my head.

“No, go. I have to face him eventually.” I made shooing motions with my hands. He watched me while I looked anywhere but at him. He sighed and opened the door.

“I’ll see you soon. Call me if you need me.”

“I don’t have your…”

“I put it in your phone.” He cut in. I smiled at him and he turned to go. “Call me.” I waited until he got to his car before running up the stairs to my room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it. The next chapter is the visitation/funeral. There is gonna be some depressing stuff going on and I really don't want to write it but I'm going to do it anyway... sorry


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is currently 12:01 a.m. I have school tomorrow but I stayed up just to write this 1) Because you guys are awesome and deserve it and 2) Because I had an awesome day and am in a giving mood.

The moment I walked into the funeral home I looked everywhere but at the casket. There were workers there, setting up chairs, cleaning, whatever they were paid to do. I sat with my back to the front of the room, facing the doors at the back. Some of the workers gave me odd looks but I ignored them. I started to get lost in my own head, not even realizing when people started to show up.

I finally glanced around at them. Some were looking at me, whispering, feeling sorry for me. Others were huddled together, hugging and crying. No one came to talk to me. Even if they had I wouldn’t have answered and I think they sensed that. I still had my back to the casket and my dad. I knew I should be up there with him. He was alone except for some of mom’s cousins that we didn’t really know. Her parents had died when I was six. I couldn’t make myself go up there.

I sat in the same spot for about half an hour. I was sitting there, staring at the ground, when the door opened. It shouldn’t have been different than any other time the door opened, but it felt different. Something in the air changed. I knew who it was before I looked. I flew out of my chair and nearly ran across the room, throwing my arms around Derek’s neck. I buried my head in his chest and immediately started sobbing. I didn’t feel sad, just numb, but the tears wouldn’t stop. I felt many pairs of eyes staring at my back but it didn’t matter. Derek’s arms went around me and he started to slowly sway back and forth.

“Sorry I couldn’t get here sooner.” Derek whispered in my ear. I didn’t respond, clinging to him like he was my lifeline. Derek didn’t try to move, just stood there holding me until my sobs subsided to little whimpers. I finally pulled away and took a step back.

“Sorry.” I mumbled. Derek tilted my face up, his eyes worried.

“Never be sorry for something like that.” I nodded and forced a smile at him.

“Stiles?” I heard Scott call. He got a few dirty looks for his loudness but he ignored them. Scott stopped in front of me, casting a curious look at Derek. He grabbed me and pulled me into a hug, holding me so tight I couldn’t breathe. It felt awkward and uncomfortable but I stood there and let him hug me. It didn’t hurt to make him think he was helping me. He finally released me and I sighed with relief. Derek taken a few steps away from us waiting for me to look at him.

“I’ll be right back.” He motioned with his head towards his family. I hadn’t realized they were there, but I noticed now that they were standing in line pass the casket. I averted my eyes, still refusing to look. I nodded at Derek, ignoring the panic at him leaving me. I turned back to Scott just in time to see the suspicious look leave his face.

“Is there something going on there?” He asked, falsely nonchalant. I sighed, a bone-deep sound that made me even more tired just hearing it. I hadn’t slept very well the night before.

“No, Scott.” I said simply.

“But… you guys have been spending a lot of time together and you were at his house. He was nearly hugging the life out of you when I came in.” Scott protested. “And-”

“Scott, just drop it!” I snapped, keeping my voice low. I flinched at his wounded puppy look, sighing. “Sorry, just, please drop it. It’s my mom’s funeral visitation. He’s been around a lot helping me deal with it. As soon as he thinks I don’t need him anymore he’ll be gone.” Scott looked like he wanted to protest but thankfully he didn’t. I didn’t have the strength to argue with him. I turned, going back to my chair. I slumped down, wanting to just go home and sleep. If I could sleep then it would all go away, if only for a while. I sniffed, wiping any stray tears off of my face. Scott sat down next to me thankfully staying silent. If he had tried to talk I may have just walked out. Derek came back a little bit later and sat in front of me. He turned the chair around to face me. For a few minutes we just sat there and stared at each other. His eyes were dark green and I knew subconsciously that meant that he was upset. I didn’t take time to analyze how I knew that. With every second that passed I felt my breath come easier until I finally relaxed completely.

“I wanna go home.” My voice was broken and tired. Derek nodded and stood up.

“Wait here.” He commanded. I nodded but he was already gone. I glanced behind me to see him walking up to my dad. He said something to him and dad nodded glancing over at me. He said something back before shaking Derek’s hand. Derek turned and came back over to where Scott and I were still sitting. “Your dad said to go ahead and go home. I’ll drive you if you want me to.” I nodded solemnly at him. I stood up to follow Derek but remembered Scott.

“Thanks Scott.” I said. He nodded, eyes flickering between me and Derek.

*********************************

“See you tomorrow.” He said finally. I followed Derek out to his car and he opened the door for me. I couldn’t even make a joke about feeling like a girl. I put my seat belt on as I watched him put his seatbelt on.  I was asleep before the car was started.

I had random flashes of reality interrupting my dreams. I vaguely remembered Derek getting me out of the car, fishing my key out of my pocket while holding me with one arm, carrying my up the stairs. Derek placing me on my bed, stripping me down to my boxers then shoving me under the covers. Derek lying on the bed next to me on top of the covers with his arms tucked securely around me. It felt safe and, if nothing else, kept the nightmares away for at least a few hours.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really, really short and I blame my brain for that. I was writing another story ( http://archiveofourown.org/works/561762 if you want to read it... I know some of you have already and you're all awesome) and I literally couldn't concentrate on anything else until I had it written. That was a very bad day at school...

I woke up in a cold sweat, panting, and crying. I flailed around in my blankets, trying to pull free of them. I looked around frantically, trying to figure out why I couldn’t get away. My eyes focused on Derek’s face. He was blinking rapidly, still dazed and confused from sleep. He grunted and met my eyes. My chest was still heaving and I’m pretty sure I was still crying but I couldn’t tell. Derek sat up and leaned over, half on top of me. His hands cupped my face and he leaned a little closer.

“Stiles breathe. You’re having a panic attack. You need to breathe.” Derek looked totally calm but his voice was strained and his shoulders were tense. I tried to calm down, I really did, but the dream was just so real. I dreamed that I was in the car with my mother when she got hit. I saw it happen in slow motion while she yelled to me that she loved me, that she was sorry, that no matter what happens I had to take care of dad. “Stiles!” Derek’s voice was more urgent now. I realized that I was holding my breath. I focused back on his eyes and the pressure inside my lungs eased slightly when I sucked in a breath.

“Derek.” I choked out. I tried desperately to take in a breath, but every time I tried to breathe it was like there was no room in my lungs. I was starting to see black spots in my vision. Before I knew what was happening Derek leaned down farther. He pressed his lips against mine briefly before pulling away. It was like an electric current shot through my body and I gasped.

“Focus, Stiles.” Derek breathed against my lips. “Focus on me. Focus on this.” He pressed his lips back against mine, parted slightly. I automatically tilted my face up towards him. I knew I should probably by upset that my first _real_ kiss was happening just to calm me down but I couldn’t bring myself to care. _Derek Hale_ was kissing me. _Derek Hale_ had his face on my face. What. I raised my hand, slipping it into his sleep-tousled hair, and pulled. He made a growly noise deep inside of his chest and pulled away. He was still only inches away from my face. His eyes shone a neon blue before slowly fading back to green. It didn’t strike me as odd, even though it should have.

“Well,” I said finally. “That was a very effective way of calming me down.” Now stop there. _Don’t say anything else, mouth._ “We should do that again sometime. Or, you know, frequently.” My eyes widened and I mentally cursed myself. Derek chuckled, his eyes crinkling. I unconsciously licked my lips. Derek’s eyes followed the movement and I watched as his eyes dilated. I gasped, my lips parting slightly, and he groaned.

“Very, very frequently. Every minute of every day, frequently.” Derek grumbled. He rolled away from me and laid on the bed beside me. I giggled, slightly hysterical. We were silent for a few minutes before Derek turned to face me. “You should get some more sleep. Tomorrow’s… gonna be tough.” He sounded cautious, like he didn’t want to upset me. I curled into his side and nuzzled his shoulder, knowing he wouldn’t mind. He slipped one arm under my waist and pulled me closer.

“Are you gonna be there?” I asked. He smiled against the top of my head.

“I’m not leaving your side.” He answered.

“What about school?”

“School will be there when we get back. It’s not really my top priority right now.” I smiled and my eyes drifted shut.

“Thank you. For being here.” I mumbled. I thought I felt a brush of lips against the top of my head, but I wasn’t sure. I was half asleep when he answered.

“Any time, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You begged for the kiss so here it is... I hope it helped with the funeral feels...I feel like this is the never ending story because there is really no where to end it. I could stop it after the funeral or do the whole complex series of events that I originally planned to do or do some of the events and not the others... I'm working on it. I promise.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the chapters from now on are probably going to be really short... with Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up and school and family issues I'm having I'm a little preoccupied. So they're going to be short but I'll try to put important things in them like I did in this chapter... no fillers I promise.

“Every Christmas she bakes a lot. She makes chocolate chip cookies for me and sugar cookies for my dad. She makes pumpkin, cherry, apple, lemon meringue, and coconut crème pies too.” I stood outside the funeral home with Derek, staring at the front doors. Dad had gone inside about 20 minutes ago, but I stopped. Derek had shown up a few minutes after dad had gone inside and stood next to me. He didn’t say a word, just waited until I spoke. People were starting to show up, weaving around us to go inside. Some looked at me with pity, while others didn’t look at me at all.

“Stiles, how are you sweetie?” My dad’s sister rushed up to me and pulled me into a hug. I let her hug me but didn’t make any move to hug her back. “Well, obviously you’re not good, all things considered. How’re you feeling? Are you sleeping well? You look pale.” She reached up and tilted my face left and right, inspecting me. I stared at her blankly while she talked. She didn’t expect an answer anyway.

“Jen, stop.” My uncle said gently, grabbing his wife’s hands. “Why don’t you go see how John’s doing?” He turned her towards the front door and she went willingly. My uncle turned back to me, holding his hand out. I reached forward numbly and shook his hand. “It’s nice to see you again, son, although, not under these circumstances.” I nodded and he looked at Derek. “I don’t believe I know you.” He offered his hand to Derek and Derek shook it.

“I’m Derek Hale. I’m Stiles’s…” He trailed off, looking at me. I saw something questioning in his eyes, but I didn’t know what he was asking, so I kept silent. He turned back to my uncle. “I’m Stiles’s boyfriend.” My eyes widened and my cheeks heated up. I looked at Derek and he winked at me. My uncle laughed and patted Derek on the back.

“It’s nice to meet you.” My uncle said. I looked at Derek and met his eyes. He raised an eyebrow and I felt the corner of my mouth tilt up, but only a little bit. My uncle leaned in close to Derek. “Take good care of him. His mom meant everything to him. I don’t know how his dad’s taking this. He needs someone stable right now.” Derek finally broke eye contact with me to look at my uncle.

“I’ll take care of him. I’m not going anywhere.” My uncle nodded at him, satisfied. He looked back at me and waved goodbye before following his wife inside. Derek turned to me cautiously. “I didn’t overstep any boundaries there did I?” he asked. I shook my head.

“No, it’s ok. Although it’s going to be tough to explain later after everything settles.” Derek raised his eyebrow questioningly. “I mean after the world shifts back to the way it was before and we go back to separate social classes.” I elaborated. Derek’s eyes darkened and he scowled. He stepped forward so we were only inches apart.

“How many times do I have to say that I’m not going anywhere?” He growled, stepping even closer. “I care about you. You mean as much to me as my own family and you know how close I am to my family. I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere. I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” I took a minute to just look at him. He said he wasn’t going anywhere but I didn’t think my mom was going anywhere either. He was asking me to trust him that he wouldn’t leave me. He would leave eventually, though. Most relationships don’t last forever so why would ours? I couldn’t say that to him though.  
“So, boyfriends, huh?” I said instead. He smiled at me, relieved.

“Yeah,” He agreed softly. “Boyfriends.”

“Stiles? Derek?” My dad’s voice called softly. We turned towards him and he motioned for us to come inside. “The service in gonna start soon.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm soooooooo sorry for how long this took. School, you know?  
> But the funeral is finally here. I hated writing it and it nearly brought me to tears. I hope you hate reading it as much as I hate writing it.  
> Also, 80 comments and 210 kudos! You guys are the best!

I don’t really remember the service. Sure, I remember being there, but it was more of an out-of-body experience. I could see myself in my mind’s eye, gaping at my mom’s body in the casket, clinging to Derek, sobbing. I ignored the stares of pity that I was receiving. I ignored every word of the eulogy my dad gave. The only things I could focus on were the sobs shaking my frame and the fingers running soothingly through my hair. I could feel the eyes on me, boring holes into the back of my head. If anything it made me cry harder.

I wanted it all to be over with. I wanted to go home, curl up in my bed, and forget the world. I wanted my mom back. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to be happy with _Derek_ who _wanted me back_ , but I couldn’t even do that. For the first time in my life someone who wasn’t my family or Scott wanted me and I couldn’t enjoy that because _my mom was_ _dead_.

I got so lost in my thought that I didn’t realize everyone else was standing until Derek’s gentle hands coaxed me up. I was so focused on keeping my face carefully black that I didn’t hear a word of the closing prayer. People shuffled out on the way to their cars, stopping to offer “comforting” words or hugs. My dad smiled politely at them, thanking them. I didn’t see what he was thanking them for. Their words wouldn’t make us feel any better and they _certainly_ wouldn’t bring her back. Every time someone reached out to hug me I shied away, cowering into Derek’s side. My dad would smile at them apologetically and they would nod like they understood. Derek wrapped his arms around me and held me against him, preventing anyone from trying to touch me. I buried my face into his shoulder gratefully and waited for it to be over.

I don’t remember going from the funeral home to the car. I must have fallen asleep at some point. I hadn’t slept very much the night before. The next thing I knew I was being coaxed out of the car by my father and Derek. I didn’t understand why my dad was allowing Derek to go with us to the burial, considering it was supposed to be family only, until I realized I was clutching his jacket like a lifeline. I refused to let him leave me.

It wasn’t until they were lowering my mothers’ casket into the ground that I really lost it. My sobs were so strong that I couldn’t stand up on my own. Derek grabbed me before I collapsed and my dad had a firm grip on my arm. I was shaking so hard that I couldn’t see and I may have been screaming. My dad eventually told Derek to take me home before the ceremony was done. He practically carried me to the car and gently lowered me into the seat, buckling me in. He had to pry his jacket out of my grasp in order to go around to the driver’s side.

We made it about halfway back to my house with Derek throwing concerned glances my way. I had stopped screaming but now I was letting out these pitiful little whimpers. Derek finally pulled the car off to the side of the road and turned it off. He unbuckled both of our seatbelts and pulled me over onto his lap. He held me so tight I thought I was going to break in half, but it was oddly comforting. He held me until my sobs quieted, murmuring how sorry he was and how much he loves me. When I finally ran out of tears I pulled myself off of his lap, settling against him. We drove the rest of the way to my house in a comfortable silence.

As soon as I got to my bed, I collapsed. Derek maneuvered me so he could get my jacket and shoes off and was starting to walk towards the door. I made a noise of protest and he turned back to look at me.

“Stay.” I grumbled, holding out a hand. Derek smiled, walking back over to me. He took my hand and settled down on the bed next to me, looking me in the eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here I could either make 2 more chapters, one Stiles dealing with his mother's death then a prologue or I could continue it. Be warned, if you want me to continue it I would make Stiles depressed and Derek all concerned boyfriend and possibly some fighting between them. Your choice. Choose carefully. May the odds be ever in your favor.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is it, guys. Thank you everyone for the support and the love. It means the world to me. Also, thanks for not murdering me for my irregular updating. To those of you who have read all of my stories: May you live a long, happy life for the suffering you went through :)

*3 weeks later*

“A werewolf?” I asked doubtfully. “I know I’m gullible, Derek, but a _werewolf?_ You expect me to believe that?” Derek sighed heavily, flopping back onto his bed.

“I had hoped you would. Now I have to show you the hard way.” Derek pouted. If you didn’t know Derek you wouldn’t be able to tell he was pouting. He was fantastic at hiding his emotions when he wanted to. Since I, however, have been studying him for years I can see the barely-there jutting of his bottom lip and his eyebrows frowning. It’s all in the eyebrows.

“Show me what, exactly?” I questioned. Derek didn’t respond, just sat up, raising his hand so I could see it. I watched as his fingers started to shake slightly and claws grew in the place of his fingernails. My jaw dropped and I pried my eyes away from his fingers to meet his eyes. “Dude!” I yelled. Derek’s eyes were an electric blue which were, admittedly, beautiful. “Your eyes are so cool!” Derek’s fingers went back to normal but his eyes stayed the electric blue.

“Stiles, I just showed you that I’m a werewolf and you’re focusing on my eye color?” Derek sounded incredulous and I just shrugged. I walked towards him and sat on his lip, straddling him. I reached up and put my hands on his cheeks, my thumbs rubbing slow, gentle circles right under his eyes. Derek nuzzled into the touch and I chuckled.

“You’re just like a puppy. I never really thought about it but you really are.” Derek growled but there was no heat behind it. “No, really, with the whole cuddling thing you’re just like a puppy. Is that a wolf thing or do you just have a cuddly personality?” I teased. Suddenly and thought occurred to me and I froze. “Wait, so, if you’re a werewolf does that mean your whole family…?” I tried off.

“Yeah, Stiles, they all are too.” Derek mumbled. He laid back down on his bed, pulling me with him. I was sprawled out across his chest and he had an arm around my back.

“So you’re trying to tell me I’ve been in love with a werewolf my whole life?” I blurted. As soon as the words were out of my mouth I tensed.

“Relax, I love you too. I always have. Even before you were born.” Derek was half asleep now and I don’t think he realized what he was saying.  
“Huh?” I asked dumbly. Derek cracked one eye open.

“Oh, yeah I forgot to tell you. Um, well, before you were born my mom worked with your mom.” I flinched when he mentioned my mom and he squeezed me tighter. “Stiles, I don’t have to-”

“No,” I interrupted. “I want to hear it.”

“My mom worked with your mom.” Derek continued reluctantly. “My mom took me to work with her one day while your mom was pregnant and I met her. I don’t actually remember this because I was about two years old but my mom loves to tell this story. When I got near your mom and I smelled her I latched on to her. She was sitting down and I ran between her legs and I wouldn’t let her go. I had my head pressed onto her stomach listening to your heartbeat. That’s the only part I remember at all, listening to your heartbeat.” At some point during his story tears started sliding down my face. I turned my face into Derek’s shirt.

“Why did you want to listen to my heartbeat? And how did you even hear my heartbeat?” I questioned. “How did you _smell_ my mom?”

“I could hear your heartbeat because of my super awesome wolfy hearing.  And I could smell her because of them too. It wasn’t actually her I was smelling though. It was you. Your smell was faint because you weren’t fully developed yet but as soon as I smelled it I wanted more of it. Or, I guess, my wolf half wanted to smell it more. It loved you before I even knew who you were.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, for a werewolf, there is one specific person in the world who was made for them. Not all werewolves find that person. Actually, most of them don’t. My mom and my dad were lucky to find each other and I was lucky to find you. My parents had to sit your parents down and explain to them what was going on and why I was probably going to be hanging around a lot.” I shot up like a bullet.

“MY PARENTS KNOW?” I shouted. Derek grinned up at me. “They knew the WHOLE TIME? Since I was a little kid I was always talking to my mom about how much I liked you and she never _said_ anything?” Derek grabbed my shirt and pulled me down into a kiss, smiling against my lips.

“How would you have taken it as a little kid? Your mom telling you that a werewolf was in love with you?” I rolled my eyes playfully.

“I would have been fine because I’m awesome. Believe me, when I get home she’s going to-” And I froze. There would be no ‘when I get home.’ She wouldn’t be there. My tears started to form again. I softly laid down next to Derek on my back and he turned on his side, sliding his arm over my stomach.

“I think it’s time for a nap.” Derek offered gently. I nodded in response, nuzzling closer into Derek. It didn’t take long for me to fall into a restless sleep.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to post this before the world ended :)

*Epilogue*

 

“Here, put your hands here. Move your feet shoulder length apart and bend your knees just a little bit.” Derek stepped up behind me in the batting cage, pressing his body against mine. His breath was hot on my neck and I was immensely glad that no one was here to see this. I turned my head slightly and caught his lips with mine. He indulged me for a second before turning his head away.

“You’re no fun.” I pouted, letting my arms hang down. Derek sighed, turning me around to face him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against him.

“Stiles, I want you with me this spring. Not to mention the baseball pants.” Derek smirked. I grinned back at him.

“Oh, yes. The baseball pants.” I chuckled. Derek leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against mine. I dropped the bat, my arms going around his neck. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, but eventually Derek pulled away.

“Ok, focus.” He moved me back to the hitting stance and walked over to the pitcher’s safety net. “Ok, when I let go of the ball load up and then swing as hard as you can.” I took a deep breath while Derek prepared to pitch. As soon as he let go of the ball I pulled my arms back and lifted my foot. I swung as hard as I could and the ball went flying. It hit the top of the batting cage net and fell to the ground hard.

  
“HOME RUN!” I yelled, waving my arms around. “And the crowd goes wild!” I launched myself towards Derek and wrapped myself around him. He laughed, stumbling backwards while trying to hold me up.

“There’s hope for you yet.” He grinned. I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

“You’re just jealous. Also, keep in mind; if you’re not nice to me I can always cut you off. No Stiles for you!” I teased. Derek may be a wolf but when he makes a puppy face, it may just make your heart melt. His arms tightened around me and he nuzzled my neck.

“M’Sorry.” He mumbled into my neck. “Love you.” I kissed the top of his head.

“Love you too, wolfy.” We stayed like that for awhile before “Hey, wait! If you have super wolfy reflexes and speed and stuff wouldn’t that be considered cheating in baseball? How do you life with youself?” Derek whole body shook with his laughter.

  
“Shut up, Stiles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin
> 
> Find me on tumblr as destielsterekshipper


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